I have “tent camped” three times in my life. The first time was at a youth group event and I don’t remember sleeping at all because I was hella hopped up on marshmallows and Mountain Dew. The second time was also youth group related (actually, now that I think about it, my issues with camping might have less to do with camping and more to do with youth group…) when I accompanied a group of students for a five day adventure in the San Juan National Forest in Colorado. On that trip, I learned the definition of “potable water” because… we didn’t have any. My enduring memory of that adventure was how badly I wanted a hot shower when I came home. It was cold and wet and miserable. After that trip, I swore up and down I would never camp in a tent again. Who in their right mind sleeps on the ground on purpose? ME NEEDS ME COZY BLANKIES TO FALL ASLEEP.
But alas, the pandemic had other plans, and my third camping trip was last weekend. As in the weekend of October 25th. In Iowa.
After a full spring and summer of aggressive togetherness with my family, I started feeling itchy for a little time away. I talked with a friend who was feeling the same way and we decided to do a camping trip. Where better to be socially-distanced in a well-ventilated space than the great outdoors! It was a plan with only one flaw: our crazy busy lives. By the time we found a weekend that worked for both of us, we were pushing the end of October. But I figured desperate times call for desperate measures. Plus instead of teenagers, this time I would have beer! That’s a trade that HAD to work in my favor.
My wife looked at me like I had lost my mind. The following conversation ensued:
“You don’t even have a winter coat!” Yes I do! My black coat with the hood! “You bought that coat at an Aeropostale going-out-of-business sale 8 years ago!” It’s a good coat! “You need some Under Armour to wear” I have some long underwear… “Nobody says long underwear!”
It went on like that for a bit, but she came around and I bought some extra socks and ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶w̶e̶a̶r̶ thermal pants and borrowed a zero-degree sleeping bag and felt like I was going to CRUSH the camping thing. I packed my cast iron and a whole bunch of food I was excited to cook over the fire and set out like I was heading down the Oregon Trail, dysentery be damned. Like the pioneers of old, I would subdue the earth and warm myself near a fire of my own making. (Note: my friend made all the fires)
And you know what? We didn’t die! The first night we suffered a small invasion of raccoons who made off with my tortillas and a half-pound of breakfast sausage but beyond that, we were no worse for the wear. I learned some valuable lessons about how close a pair of boots can get to the fire before the bottoms melt and also what it feels like to chase rodents away from a campsite at 2 AM when it’s 17° outside. I ALSO learned that my beloved Aeropostale coat is, in fact, not a winter coat! Who knew?? Those are important truths that I will forever carry with me. Nature can be a cruel teacher, but she is fair.
As we packed up our camp after two successful and exhausting nights of camping, my friend joked that we needed to reserve our site for the same weekend next year. I laughed, blowing into my hands for the thousandth time and sniffling like a madman, but I didn’t disagree. It sounds cheesy, but the community and camaraderie really were worth the discomfort and sub-freezing temperatures. We all need a break now and then, and if it takes risking frostbite to get it, that’s a risk I guess I’m willing to take. Plus, there was one more big upside to the whole thing: while I was gone my wife bought me a real-life winter coat.
TO THE LINKS!
My friend Scott is a Lutheran minister who brews his own beer. He’s like the reincarnation of Martin Luther! I told him he needs to go vandalize the front door of his local Catholic parish but he’s too nice for that. Not me! I would have added a few rolls of TP along with the 95 theses. Here’s Scott on how to get started brewing beer:
For years I’ve been curious about homebrewing beer, and I’ve asked “So how’s it work?” But the process sounded complicated and time consuming. I just wanted to buy a sixer and drink it.
But finally, a conversation with a friend revealed that it was time to give it a try. Several Youtube videos, online articles, and google searches later, we found Craft a Brew and their 1-gallon starter kits. (https://craftabrew.com/collections/home-beer-brewing-kit)
This comes with pretty much everything you NEED. The ingredients and equipment, all for about $50. Add in water, a large pot that you probably have in your kitchen already, a stove top, and a small batch of bottles (I recommend swing-top grolsch style from Amazon for about $20), and you are ready.
The only other thing, time. Brewing your beer is going to take several hours, which is why having a partner in crime makes is more fun. There’s heating, steeping, boiling, cooling…lots of stuff before it finally gets into the carboy with the yeast. BUT ITS FUN. And really, the directions are pretty easy.
Now, patience. Fermentation takes a couple weeks. But you do get bubbles gurgling through the airlock as a reminder that things are happening. From there, into the bottle for another couple weeks. Even now, I’m impatient waiting for tasting day.
Can you go deeper with more complicated equipment? You bet. But this gets you started and you’ll discover that its not really difficult. The payoff is TOTALLY worth it. Finally, 4 weeks after you put the pot on the stove, you crack the top on the first bottle, and hear that hiss/pop of carbonation…it’s the best sound in the world…and then you get to taste it. I might be biased, but a beer you made, even a simple one…it’s the best.
The only thing I’ve done with yeast over the pandemic is bake copious amounts of bread. Beer sounds more fun. When this Covid nonsense is over me and Scott are doing a carbohydrate trade.
Speaking of beer, Boulevard teamed up with Foundry Distilling in Des Moines to create a whiskey from the mash of their unfiltered wheat beer. I’m too cheap for $60 a bottle, but a glass would be nice!
Also, I tried this campfire cobbler recipe while I was out conquering nature last weekend. It was super simple and super delicious and would probably work just as well in your oven at home!
I have no link for this—it’s more of a PSA: THE MANDALORIAN IS BACK STARTING TONIGHT ON DISNEY+! It feels like it’s been ten years since season one of this show and I cannot WAIT for it to come back. This season will also (reportedly) feature Ahsoka Tano who is beloved by Star Wars nerds but unknown to folks who *shudder* only watch the movies. No matter your fandom level, this show is for YOU.
CNN Travel has a fun write up about Holiday Inn Holidomes which brought the idea of indoor pools and fitness centers into the motel mainstream. Fun fact: Des Moines still has a fully operational Holiday Inn Holidome! While most have gone the way of malls, the one in Des Moines hosts an annual New Years’ Eve shindig that would make Dick Clark envious. There’s a 30% chance of a roof tile falling on you and a 100% chance of FUN!
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s an election this week! In Utah, the two gubernatorial candidates got together and made a cool video about unity and decency that got me in my feels. Also, if you’re looking for a good politics newsletter from a different perspective, I like the Economist. SO EUROPEAN.
Anybody who watches sports long enough on TV starts to gravitate to certain color commentators. Mike Breen’s “BANG!” can turn an NBA play into an NBA Moment™ and the cadence of a good announcer can make or break the viewing experience. Drew Magary has a thoughtful profile of one of the greats—Al Michaels—who I grew up listening to through my cracked bedroom door while my dad watched Monday Night Football downstairs. Even if you don’t watch football, it’s an interesting look into the upper echelons of NFL culture and access.
That’s what I have for you this week, folks! If you’ve made it to the end, maybe give this here humble newsletter a share on Twitter or forward it to a friend who really loves raccoons. Also, I’ve been thinking about making this a weekly deal instead of twice a month. Real talk: would you enjoy this mindless content TWICE as often?
Happy Halloween. Stay safe out there!