I am an unabashed fan of kitchen gadgets. When my wife and I were creating our wedding registry, I demanded that it include a Pizzazz. I also talked her into a device for homemade egg McMuffins that did NOT disappoint—at least until the day it stopped working. I love toaster ovens and magic bullets (not the Zapruder kind, the blending kind) and I’m always tempted to buy those crazy infomercial gadgets that are advertised to CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Since March, we have avoided all restaurants and take-out, and that’s meant a whole lot more home cooking. It’s also meant a lot more stuff in the kitchen. My wife bought me an air fryer for Father’s Day (official review from someone who was dubious: it actually works!) I bought a dutch oven for making bread, and then ANOTHER dutch oven for roasting/stews/chili. That’s on top of my burgeoning cast iron skillet collection AND the devices we already had: the aforementioned Pizzazz, Keurig, normal coffee maker, espresso machine (yes, we’re those people), toaster (duh), stand mixer, assorted pots and pans, and a crock-pot. Even as I list that embarrassing number of kitchen things I somehow feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh yeah, there’s an instant pot, too!
Reading all of that, you might be thinking that I have one of those huge, gourmet kitchens, but you’d be wrong. I’m not complaining, mind you. I know people with achingly small kitchens and they are always in my thoughts and prayers. It’s not THAT dire, but we have reached critical mass. That dutch oven for roasting/stews/chili? That thing lives on the stove. There’s nowhere else for it to go! Marie Kondo’s mind would explode if she opened my cupboards—it’s like Tetris if at the end of Tetris you were served delicious food.
I’m at the point where some tough decisions are going to have to be made, but I can’t be the one to do it. It’s like choosing between children! Every gadget and tool tells a story—they represent aspirations (we’ll save so much money on Starbucks when we buy this espresso maker!), they represent moments in time (that Pizzazz, like my marriage, keeps on going), and most importantly, they represent opportunity. As long as those gadgets are there, I can care for my family. I can prep and cook and enjoy delicious food with them as a way of showing my love. They aren’t just gadgets, they’re part of my family’s story.
Oh wait, what’s that? My kids only want to eat microwaved hot dogs and Dominoes? Yeah, nevermind, we can toss the crock-pot.
On to the links!
After the election last week (two weeks ago? A month ago? What is time) I saw quite a few people busting out their best whiskey’s on Instagram, and the most coveted celebration booze was Pappy Van Winkle. Pappy has QUITE a rabid following and getting your hands on a bottle is… what’s the word… hard AF. Luckily, there are Pappy “dupes” out there that you can find at your local liquor store. And I bet they’ll taste even better in a nice glass. Cheers!
As a Cubs fan, reading this article about Tony La Russa (former manager of the Cardinals) being hired by the White Sox. I knew I didn’t like Tony La Russa, but I never knew I had SO MANY REASONS to not like him! Fun stuff.
This is a NICHE piece of pop-culture goodness for anyone who enjoys political commentary wrapped in a bop. Paula White may be a crazy person, but she could for sure make it as a DJ/Producer.
Anyone who watched TV on election night/week eventually landed on either Steve Kornacki or John King. I’m a John King guy, myself, but Steve made a big-time splash in the twitterverse. My key takeaway from this video: he didn’t leave the MSNBC office between Tuesday and Saturday 😳
Every newsletter features one link that I REALLY hope people click and this week that link is this one from McSweeney’s. If this doesn’t make you laugh, you're dead inside.
That’s all for this week, folks. I’ll be back Thanksgiving week a few days earlier than usual. Until then, forward this to all your friends like it’s a conspiracy theory from 1998. If you don’t, it’s bad luck for YEARS.